Living With No Regrets

In my role as a Director of Parts Operations for a large group of Mack Truck dealerships, I interview a lot of people every year. I have a set of questions I developed years ago that I use during an interview. I keep them updated and current and I use them to try to understand the type of person sitting on the other side of the table from me. One of those questions is, "If you could start your last job or your career over again, what would you do differently?" I get several types of answers to this question. Some sit and ponder for a while and can't think of anything. Concerning for sure. Some tell you about something they should have pursued such as, "I should have gone to college" or "I should have gone in the military." And others give me the answer I love to hear the most, "I wouldn't change a thing. I am who I am today because of everything that has happened in my life up to this point."

I love that answer. What it says to me is, "I have no regrets." Quite often, I think through my answers to the interview questions I ask others. My answer to what I would change about my life, last job, or career would be the same. I would not change a thing. God has used every circumstance, event, opportunity, mistake, and success I have had to teach me more about him and myself. I live with very few regrets. Notice I didn't say zero regrets. 

For years, my biggest regret was dropping out of college when I was younger. Lacking direction and guidance, I chose to work full-time instead of finishing the final two years of my degree. The decision to quit haunted me for years until I re-started and finally finished my degree at Liberty University just a few years ago. I already had a very successful career by the time I finished my degree but I feel like I would have gotten there faster with a degree. Regret is nearly always tied to past decisions. Poor decisions we have made or decisions we wish we had made. Those decisions are usually related to people or situations. Both bring with them their own complexities that often require an abundance of wisdom. So, what follows is the best wisdom I can give at this point in my life for minimizing regrets.

Seek the Wisdom that Comes from God

Solomon tells us in Proverbs 2:6, "the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." So, wisdom, knowledge, and understanding come from the lips of God. Hence the Bible, God's revelation to us about himself, is the source of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. I have done my best from an early age to spend time in the Bible and drink deeply from the wisdom it provides. It teaches me about myself, about others around me, about the human condition, about the origin of the universe, about the future of mankind, and most importantly it teaches me how to live my life each day in a way that doesn't lead to regret. Proverbs 3 says,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5-6

My own understanding of things often gets me in trouble. Submitting my way to God daily and letting him direct my path has helped keep me on the straight path that leads to fewer regrets.

Do the Hard Thing

There is an old quote attributed to the NHL superstar Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Most of the time we don't take the shot because we lack courage. Honestly, I was scared to death to go back to college. I was in my early 40s and had been out of school for over 20 years. Could I manage it with my workload, family, and church responsibilities? Could I afford it? Did I want to devote several years to it? I had many reservations but eventually took a leap of faith and have never regretted it. 

Publishing my writing online in January of 2024 was terrifying. Publishing on Substack eight months later was equally terrifying. Again, I took the leap of faith and hit "publish" and never looked back. As a result, many lives have been touched in the last year. I'm still not the writer I want to be but I keep showing up each week, doing the hard thing, and hitting "publish." Chase your dreams. Try the crazy idea. Do the hard thing. You won't regret it.

Forgive Quickly

Despite the complexities and challenges relationships can bring into our lives, they are one of the things that make life worth living. I think most people inherently understand this. However, I have seen family members and friends stay at odds with each other over the silliest of things. Many forsake a lifetime of happiness in relationship with another over a moment of disagreement. Our inherent sinful nature and selfishness compound the issue for sure. If I could be so bold, followers of Jesus don't really have the luxury of not forgiving others. Paul commissions us in Colossians 3...

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13

There is not any wiggle room for not forgiving others in Paul's admonition here. Paul was writing to the believers in Colossae here. Ironically, the very people we often have trouble forgiving are the same ones we will be spending eternity with. Awkward. Best to make amends and forgive quickly. It will allow for a lifetime of healthier relationships. You will never regret living at peace with all men (Rom 12:18).

Leave Nothing Unsaid

In October of 2017, my grandmother went to be with Jesus. It was just over six years after losing my mom and dad. During those six years, we talked multiple times a week. Just before the cancer took its fatal toll on her mind and body, we had the best conversation. I told her how much I loved her and how much I enjoyed our talks. She told me how excited she was to be getting to see Jesus, my grandfather (who was the love of her life), and how glad she was to be getting new eyes via a glorified body so she could see again. At the end of the conversation we cried together and I told her I would miss her and to tell Mom and Dad hello. There was nothing left unsaid between us.

This is how relationships should be. If you love someone, tell them. If you are proud of someone, say so. Transparency and vulnerability are the hallmarks of deep meaningful relationships. You will never regret letting people know how much you love and care for them.

Conclusion

When I played high school football, we talked before every game about "leaving it all on the field." In other words, play your heart out, give it every ounce of energy and strength you have, and leave the playing field with no regrets whether you win or lose. Like so many other life skills I learned in football, I have tried to apply this attitude to life. And because I have but one life to live, I hope to live it to the fullest with the least amount of regrets possible. Cheering for you to do the same. Swing for the fences, trust God with the outcome and leave it all on the field.