He Who Finds a Wife Finds a Good Thing

In July of 2024, my wife and I celebrated 29 years of marriage. We were grade school sweethearts. So, we've known each other and have been growing in relationship with each other since our early teens. Thirty-five plus years later, we are still growing in our relationship. We are two imperfect people trying to do life together, but I wouldn't want to be doing life with anyone else. 

My wife and I also have two boys planning to get married this year, and I've always quoted Proverbs 18:22 to them in regard to finding a wife someday. Solomon said, ‭"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." So, in reflecting on almost 30 years of marriage for this post, I thought I would share why my wife has been such a good thing for me. And I have surely felt the Lord's favor in having her by my side all these years.

I am happier mentally and emotionally

I like to laugh, but truth be told I do too little of it. My mind is abuzz with so many things so often. I'm also not a morning person and typically prefer conversation after coffee! My wife is the opposite. She has bad moments but seldom has a bad day. She is smiling and laughing and cracking jokes from morning to night. She keeps me laughing, chuckling, and shaking my head constantly and I'm a better person for it. 

The reality is, everyone has bad days and bad moments. In a healthy marriage, one partner will help pull the other partner through these times. My wife does this for me and I try my best to do the same. We try to encourage each other when one or the other of us is down. And we also try to carry a little extra load for each other on the days when one of us is overwhelmed. As a couple, we never let each other linger too long in doubt or self-pity and we are both better for it.

I am more compassionate and empathetic

My mother was a military housewife and she kept a drama-free home. You did your chores, you listened the first time, you didn't talk back, and you showed respect. If you did dumb things after being told not to (maybe I did once or twice), it was your own fault and you dealt with the consequences. As a result, I have had very little empathy and compassion towards people that have self-induced problems. Yet, the reality is that all of us have self-induced problems and sin-induced problems to varying degrees. And in spite of all our faults and failures, Jesus shows us grace anyway. My wife shows me continually how to show the grace of Jesus to others. She has always been more compassionate and empathetic towards the needs of others than I have and, she constantly tries to help me in loving other people like Jesus does. I'm still a work in progress, but I am much further along than where I started in our marriage, and it is all because of her.

I am more confident in my identity

I never had any high expectations set for me when I was young. My parents made sure my sister and I worked hard, but never seemed to care toward what end. This has made me question my own purpose, gifting, and identity for years. My wife on the other hand has always seen more in me than I have seen in myself. She is my biggest fan. She believes in me when I don't believe in me. No matter what type of thing I conjure up and attempt to pursue, she is for it. She is always telling me I can do anything I set my mind to. This type of encouragement is like rocket fuel for me as a man. With my wife at my side encouraging me, I literally feel like I could do anything. 

I have someone to walk through the highs and low of life with me

Growing up in military households, my wife and I had been around the world quite a bit by the time we met each other. It put a taste for travel and new adventures in our bones. Seeing the world together over the years has been a highlight of our marriage. We've been from the mountains to the coast in North Carolina. We traveled to Germany and France and did mission work in Brazil. We vacationed in New York City. Most recently she and I vacationed in Scotland and Ireland for two weeks. It was incredible. 

We've gone from having little to having a lot. And we've been through some dark valleys. Her parents divorced early in our marriage. Both of us have lost our grandparents. We have lost many dear friends. I lost both my parents to a car accident in 2011. Life is hard and it's a series of highs and lows, but I would not want anyone else by my side through either experience. My wife makes the good days increasingly more beautiful, and she continues to be a rock as well as an ever more comforting companion in the dark valleys. Truly, I have found not just a good thing in my wife but a great thing.

Conclusion

God saw from the beginning that it was not good for man to be alone. He needed a helper suitable for him. A lifelong partner that would bring not just companionship and relationship, but another type of being all together with different expressions and manifestations of the image of the triune God. A woman. Taken from man, inextricably linking the two together in unique physical, spiritual, and emotional ways, but also completely different from the man. Not in such a way as to make less of man's abilities and aptitudes, but in such a way as to amplify them and develop them more fully for the glory of God. If you find a godly wife, you will have found a treasure and a blessing from Almighty God. I know I certainly have.